The night my mother thought I was a Yahoo boy

Last year during harmattan, my mother called me at 2am. I was still awake coding, debugging some payment API that kept failing. She didn't greet me. She just said "Jide, I need to ask you something and you must answer me truthfully."

I sat up straight. My mind went through every possible thing I could have done wrong. She said "Your cousin Tunde told me people who work from home and get paid in dollars are all Yahoo boys. He said they use the computer to do ritual work. Jide, are you a Yahoo boy?"

I almost dropped my phone. I had to explain what a US startup is, what remote work means, that I actually write code that moves money. She was quiet for a long time. Then she said "So if I come to VI and check your room, I won't find any human parts?"

Bruh. The data says Nigerian parents still think remote work is either laziness or occultism. My own mother thinks I am a cyber fraudster because I make USD from Lekki. I had to video call her and show her my laptop screen with code just to prove I wasn't doing blood money transactions. She still sends me prayer videos every morning. Na wa.