My landlady dey monitor my fridge from her balcony

I swear on my Super Eagles jersey, my landlady for Yaba don turn security camera for my life. Every time I open my fridge to collect something, she dey appear for her balcony like she get radar for cold drink.

Last week I bought one big bottle of Sprite. I no even reach my door, she call my name from upstairs. 'Chidi, you get visitor? Why you dey buy drink for party?' I tell her na for myself. She say 'Na so you go drink all that one alone? Your kidney go finish.'

Now I dey hide my shopping inside my bag like I dey smuggle gold. Lagos sha. Even your fridge no get privacy.