Nigerian men are being raised to suffer in silence and it's hurting all of us

My roommate's younger brother just got admission to UNN. The boy is 17, fresh from secondary school. First week here, I saw him struggling with something. I asked him what's wrong. He said 'nothing' and walked away. Later that night I heard him crying on the phone with his mother.

That story is everywhere. We are taught from small that a man must not show weakness. That crying is for women. That carrying your burden alone is strength. But look at the men around us. Depressed. Angry. Dying young from stress related sickness. Unable to talk to anyone. That list of 10 things Nigerian men are told about strength that are quietly destroying them was spot on. Number 4 about 'man up' hit me hard.

My father never told me he loved me until I was 18 and leaving for university. He showed it through school fees and discipline. But those words would have meant a lot at 12 when I was being bullied. I'm not saying we should all become soft overnight. But this idea that strength means silence is killing us slowly. When did you last hear a man in your life say 'I'm not okay' without joking about it?