My sister got a scholarship and I felt like a fraud

Last year during harmattan, my younger sister Tolu called me from Akure. She said, 'Deji, I got the tech scholarship. The one you sent me the link for.'

I was at a co-working space in Yaba, staring at my laptop, trying to figure out how to pay my rent that month. And she's on the phone sounding like she just won the lottery.

Pride hit me first. This girl who used to follow me around asking dumb questions about HTML. Now she's getting a full ride to study data science.

Then the guilt came. My parents think I'm doing well in Lagos. They don't know some months I survive on noodles and data bundles. They don't know the scholarship link was the only useful thing I've sent her in two years.

I told her I was proud. She said 'I learned it from you, bros.'

I hung up and sat there for 20 minutes. Felt like I was holding up a mirror and the person staring back was both the big brother she thinks I am and the guy who's just figuring it out as he goes.

Still haven't told anyone in the family I've been paying her school fees since 2023. Some things you just carry.