The day my daughter asked if I loved my job more than her

Last year, during the harmattan, I was coming back from work around 8pm. My daughter, she is 5, was still awake. Her father said she refused to sleep, kept saying she wants to wait for mummy.

When I walked in, she was sitting on the living room floor with her colouring book. She looked up at me and said, "Mummy, do you love your job more than me?"

Wallahi, that question hit me like a truck. I sat down on the floor beside her, uniform still on, bag still on my shoulder. I asked her why she would ask that. She said, "Because you are always at your job. Even when you come home, you are on your phone for work."

I held her and told her no, I love her more than anything in this world. But I also told her the truth. I said, "Mummy works so we can have food, and your school fees, and your colouring books. It is not because I want to leave you." She just nodded and hugged me.

That night, I cried in the bathroom after she slept. The system is slow, but it moves. And I move with it. But I remind myself now, every day, that she is watching. She is learning what work means from me. I want her to learn that a woman can work hard and still be present. It is a balance I am still learning.