Ibadan market women and their price negotiation tactics are something else

My wife sent me to Bodija market yesterday to buy tomatoes. Just tomatoes. I have been married for 38 years, I know better than to argue with her instructions. So I go to this woman, she has the reddest tomatoes I have seen all week. I ask for the price. She says '₦2,500 for the big basket.' I say 'Mama, that is too much.' She looks at me like I just insulted her firstborn. She says 'Oga, you want to buy or you want to kill my business?'

I tell her I am a pensioner, I cannot afford that. She says 'Pensioner? You look like you still dey collect salary. Your skin is too smooth for pensioner.' I laughed. I could not help it. The woman was roasting me in broad daylight. I end up buying the basket at ₦2,200, but she added extra pepper 'for my trouble' as she put it. On my way home, I am thinking: these market women have been doing this since the Nigeria of my youth. They have not changed one bit. In the civil service, we had memos and protocols. In Bodija market, they have negotiation and insults. And somehow, both systems work.

I got home, my wife looked at the tomatoes, looked at me, and said 'You paid too much.' I did not argue. I just went to sit on my veranda. A man must know when to keep quiet. But I am telling you, if you want to learn real Nigerian diplomacy, go to Bodija market and try to buy vegetables. You will come out with a degree in haggling.