The friend who never pays back is not your friend, sorry

I was sitting with a young man in my office last week, a graduate from UNN, smart boy. He was telling me about his best friend since secondary school. This friend borrowed him ₦15,000 in January for transport, said he would pay back in two weeks. Then another ₦10,000 in March for his mother's medicine. Then another ₦8,000 in April for something else. Now the boy is avoiding his calls, unfollowed him on Instagram, and when they see each other at church, the friend looks the other way.

My brother asked me, pastor, should I confront him? I said, the thing about life is that some people treat friendship like an ATM machine with no overdraft limit. Our people say if you want to know who your real friend is, lend them money and see if they remember you exist after. I have seen this pattern too many times in my counseling experience. The person who borrows small and pays back small is building trust. The person who borrows small and disappears is showing you their character at a discount price.

Look at it this way. ₦15,000 is not even a full bag of rice these days with how things are. But it is the principle that matters. If someone cannot respect you enough to return your ₦10,000, how will they respect your bigger investments in the relationship? I am not saying cut everybody off. But if the pattern is clear, believe it. Nwanne, have you ever lost a friend over money and later realized it was the best thing that happened to you?