Why Nigerian mums think WhatsApp status is a crime scene

My mother called me at 6am on Wednesday. I thought somebody died. She said, 'Kola, who is that girl wey dey post your picture for her status? The one with the red dress.' I told her it was just a customer who bought an iPhone 15 Pro Max from me and was showing off. She said, 'Customer wey dey wear red dress for your shop? At 9pm? Abeg bring that phone make I see am.'

Now my mother has joined my customer's WhatsApp status. She's monitoring her like EFCC. Every morning she gives me a report. 'She posted again. This one no get job? Why she dey post every hour? Kola, she is a runs girl. Stay away.' My customer is a certified accountant with Deloitte. But my mother has already convicted her based on three status posts.

Nigerian parents and social media. They think any photo with a caption means you are planning to elope. God is involved but my mother is the real CCTV.