The real reason your relationship is struggling is because you don't argue enough

I was counseling a young couple last week, both of them professionals in their late twenties. The girl was crying saying 'he doesn't talk to me anymore' and the guy was just sitting there quiet. I asked him what was wrong and he said 'Pst Emeka, I don't want to argue with her, I just want peace.'

That statement broke my heart. Because what that man was really saying is 'I have given up on us.' Look at it this way: when two people stop arguing, it means one person has decided that their feelings don't matter anymore. Or worse, that the relationship is not worth fighting for. In my counseling experience, the couples who still argue are the ones who still believe change is possible. The quiet ones? They are already planning their exit in their head.

No be everything wey dey happen needs a fight o. But if you find yourself avoiding every disagreement just to keep peace, ask yourself: are you keeping peace or are you burying yourself? The thing about life is that silence can be louder than any argument. When was the last time you had a proper disagreement with your partner and actually resolved it?