I carried olosho for my own boyfriend and I still dey shame

My guy wey I dey call my boyfriend for two years, na him dey arrange men for me. I was 20, he was 25. He say na quick money, say we go use am build our future together. I believe am because I love am.

The first man give me ₦50,000. I cry after. My boyfriend collect the money, give me ₦10,000 chop. He say e be investment. I do am for six months. Every time I tell am I want stop, he go beg, say one more, say we almost there.

One day I see am with another girl for the same spot wey he dey drop me. I just look am. I carry my bag, I walk. I never talk to am since. The money sweet but the shame dey follow me till today. God when I go forgive myself?