I Watched My Best Friend Blow While I Was Stuck in Warri. I Could Not Clap for Her.

This was back in 2022. My girl from Uni, we graduated same year, same department. After NYSC, she japa to Canada. I stayed back in Warri, dey hustle small small. I was happy for her initially, o. We talked every week, she was sending money for her family, buying a car, posting pictures with her new friends.

But inside me, something was rotting. Every time I saw her story, my chest would tighten. Not because I wished her bad. But because I was here, still living with my mother, still doing the same freelance writing work that paid 30k a month if I was lucky. She was living the life I had dreamed of since we were 18.

One day she called me, excited to tell me she got a promotion. I forced my voice to sound happy. 'God when, my sister, I am so proud of you!' But the moment the call ended, I cried. Not tears of joy. Tears of pure, ugly envy. I could not even tell my mother why I was crying.

The worst part? She started asking me to apply for the same opportunities she was getting. She meant well. But I was not ready to see her name everywhere while I was still applying. I started avoiding her calls. I told myself I was busy. But the truth is, I could not celebrate her because her success reminded me of everything I had not become.

We have not talked in almost a year now. I know it is my fault. But envy is a quiet poison. It will make you lose a friend before you even realise you were the one holding the cup.