The way my London children correct my Nigerian English now

My daughter came back from school yesterday and said 'Mum, it's pronounced PECK-ham, not PEK-am.' I just looked at her. I have been living in Peckham for 12 years. I pay council tax in Peckham. I have delivered three babies in Peckham. And now a 14-year-old who has never bought garri in her life wants to teach me how to speak.

Then my son, the boy, he told me that 'Mama, you don't say I am going to the shop, you say I am GOING TO THE SHOPS.' I said ah, okay. So I changed. I said 'I am going to the shops, do you want anything?' He said yes, get me a smoothie. I said 'Smoothi?' He said 'No mum, it's SMOO-thee, not SMOO-ti.' Na wa oh. This is the same boy who calls puff-puff 'African doughnut holes'. I am raising foreigners in my own house.

The worst one was last week. I was on the phone with my sister in Ibadan, telling her about my colleague who is getting married at 52. I said 'The woman don see her own husband at last, God is faithful.' My daughter whispered loudly 'Mum, you mean SHE HAS FOUND HER HUSBAND AT LAST.' I covered the phone and told her in Yoruba 'Ma ba mi wa, omo mi.' She said 'Mum, that's disrespectful. You're talking about me in another language.' I said 'Yes, that is the point.' Anyway, I have accepted my fate. I am now bilingual in Nigerian English and British English. But when I go to Ibadan in December, I will speak pure Yoruba for one month and nobody will correct me. Abi?