Na wa oh, my own mother just told me to 'manage' my husband. I am vexed.

Sunday morning, I call my mother in Ibadan as usual. We dey gist small, I tell her about how my husband Kwame left his dirty clothes on the bathroom floor again. I say, Mummy, I am tired of picking up after a grown man. She just laugh and say, 'Bose, you dey London now, but marriage is still marriage. Manage am small, na your husband.'

I nearly drop my phone. Manage? In 2026? I tell her, Mummy, I am a nurse earning my own money, I pay half the bills in this house. Why should I 'manage' a man who cannot put his clothes in the basket? She said I am too westernised, that back in her day she managed worse. I just kept quiet because I know she went through things I cannot imagine, but my dear, times have changed.

Now I am sitting here thinking, is it really 'managing' or is it just accepting disrespect quietly? My daughter is watching me, she is 14. If I teach her to manage nonsense, she will carry that into her own marriage. I don't know o. Maybe I am the one who is wrong. Maybe marriage in Nigeria and marriage abroad are just different things.