The family dinner where my uncle called me a coconut head

Two years ago, during the December holidays, my mother called a family gathering at her house in Surulere. I was excited because I had just closed from work , this was before I got the remote role, I was still at the fintech. I wore a simple native, nothing fancy.

We were eating jollof rice and chicken when my uncle, Uncle Bayo, looked at me and said, 'Jide, you think you are better than us now because you work on a computer?' I laughed small, thinking it was a joke. He didn't laugh.

'You come here with your laptop, your earpiece, speaking American. You forget where you come from.'

I told him, 'Uncle, I am just trying to build something for myself. That is not forgetting my roots.' But he kept going. He said my generation is lost. That we don't respect elders. That I am a 'coconut head' , brown outside, white inside.

The worst part? My cousin, Tunde, was recording everything on his phone. I didn't know until three days later when someone sent me the video. It had gone viral in our family WhatsApp group. People were laughing. My mother was crying. Nobody asked me how I felt.

I stopped going to family gatherings for six months after that. Not because I was angry. But because I realized that some people will never see your growth as progress. They see it as betrayal. And the people closest to you can hurt you the most with their words.

Now I attend small. I greet everyone. I eat their food. But I keep my distance. The lesson? Success in Nigeria comes with a price. Sometimes the price is your peace. You have to decide what you are willing to pay.