The day I learned not to trust a man just because he wears agbada to church

I was still in the civil service, maybe 1998 or 1999. A man came to our office, very fine agbada, big smile, said he was a contractor from Lagos. He said he needed help processing some papers for a school project in Oyo town. Said he would pay me something small for my time.

I was young and eager. I helped him. I signed some forms, made some calls, used my position to fast-track the approval. The man said thank you, said he would come back the next day with my money. He never came back. I waited one week, two weeks. Then I heard from a colleague that the man had done the same thing to three other officers in different ministries. He collected their help and vanished.

My supervisor, a man called Mr. Adegoke, called me to his office. He did not shout. He just said, 'Kunle, a man who is in a hurry to pay you is in a hurry to leave you. The Yoruba say, the one who runs with you is not the one who will wait for you at the market.' I felt foolish. I lost nothing but my pride. But that day I learned something I have never forgotten. Not everyone who smiles at you is your friend. Not every hand that reaches for you wants to lift you up.

Have you ever helped someone and later found out they were just using you?