I Hid My HIV-Positive Status from Everyone for Three Years. I Was Only 21.

I was 21, in my final year at Aba Poly. I had just started dating this guy from Enugu, fine boy, drove a Toyota Camry. We used protection sometimes, but not always. Na me be the girl wey dey always say "I trust you."

One day I fell sick, and the sickness no gree leave. I went to the hospital, they ran tests. The doctor called me aside and said the words that ended my life as I knew it: "You are HIV-positive." I didn't cry. I just stared at the wall for 20 minutes.

I told nobody. Not my mother, not my sisters, not my friends. I started taking the drugs in secret. I would hide the bottle under my clothes, wrap it in old socks, put it inside my school bag. When my roommate asked about the pills, I said it was for malaria.

This went on for three years. I stopped dating completely. I couldn't bring myself to tell any man. The guilt of what I could pass to someone else was too heavy. I watched my friends get married, have children, move on with life. Meanwhile I was just existing, waiting for the day someone would find out and shame me.

Last year, I finally told my elder sister. She cried for two days, then she held my hand and said, "You are not alone." Since then, I have started talking to a counselor. The shame is still there, but it is smaller now.

I am still alive. I am still taking my drugs. And I am learning that carrying a secret alone is a sickness of its own. If you have something you are hiding, find one person you trust. Just one. It will save your life.