I Was Forced Into a Traditional Title I Did Not Want. The Spirits Have Not Let Me Rest Since.

I am a 34-year-old man from Ilorin, and this happened five years ago, when I was 29. My family is deep into the traditional ways , we have been custodians of a certain chieftaincy title for generations. When my father died, the elders came for me. They said it was my duty to take the title, that the ancestors had chosen me. I tried to refuse. I told them I was a Christian, that I did not believe in those things anymore. They laughed. They said the spirits do not care about your church membership.

The preparation lasted three months. I had to undergo rituals I cannot even describe here. There was a night I was taken to a grove outside the city, and I was made to drink something that tasted like rust and old blood. I woke up the next day in my own bed with no memory of how I got there. My body was covered in marks I still have scars from. My mother was crying when she saw me. She said I had to finish it, or the spirits would follow me forever.

I took the title. I wore the beads, I carried the staff, I sat on the stool. Omo, the day I was presented to the community, I felt something enter my chest , cold, heavy, like a stone lodged behind my ribs. I have not felt truly warm since that day. I go to church every Sunday, I sing louder than anyone, I give offering. But I know something is there with me. Sometimes I wake up at 3am and the room feels like someone just left. My wife says I talk in my sleep in a language she does not recognise.

I cannot undo what was done. The title is for life. I have three children now, and I pray every day that the elders do not come for them. Let them go to school, let them marry whoever they want. Let them be free. Because this thing I carry , it is not a blessing. It is a chain. And I am still wearing it.