The moment your village people upgrade from WhatsApp to Telegram

See my brother, I dey tell you. Last week my phone start doing things normal phone no suppose do. I buy brand new Infinix from my own shop, the one I personally inspect. By the third day, the battery don dey drain like someone open tap. I check the settings, nothing abnormal. I check the apps, nothing running for background. Then I check the storage and I nearly fall from my chair.

The phone don install 47 different prayer apps by itself. 47! I never download one. Not even Bible app. But this phone get 'Daily Deliverance Prayers', 'Mountain of Fire Confessions', 'Morning Warfare', 'Night Vigil Guide', 'Prayer Against Stubborn Problems'. The phone dey pray more than my grandmother. I ask my friend wey be developer, he say e fit be say the phone get automatic deliverance feature from the factory. Abi na village people don start using Telegram to send attack directly to the motherboard.

I just dey imagine the meeting for the village. Dem don gather, one elder say 'Make we stop using WhatsApp, our enemy Kola don block us there. Let's upgrade to Telegram Premium and attack his phone storage directly.' Meanwhile I dey here wondering if my phone will start speaking in tongues by next week. God is involved but the profit margin on this phone just shrink small because I go sell am tokunbo.