Japa or stay? My honest counsel for married couples

I was in a meeting yesterday and my colleague, Aisha Bello, started talking about her husband's japa plans. He wants to move to Canada by next year, and she is here in Abuja with a good job at the ministry. She was asking me if I think she should follow him or stay.

From where I sit in Abuja, I have seen this play out before. The policy says one thing, the reality says another. Many marriages don't survive the distance, and many more don't survive the move itself. The husband goes first, the wife stays behind to sell the house and tie up loose ends. Then the calls become shorter, the visits become fewer, and before you know it, one of them has found comfort elsewhere.

My honest counsel? If you are married, you move together or you don't move at all. The cost of living in the capital is hard, but the cost of a broken home is harder. I have seen too many women here in Abuja become single mothers while their husbands are abroad building new lives. It is not worth the risk. Stay and build together, or go and face it together. Which one would you choose?