Nigerian parents will pray for your miracle and still charge you for the candle

My daughter called me last week, excited. She said, Baba, I got a new job, I am now a manager. I was happy for her, truly. Then she said, but the salary, after tax, na only 350k. I said, my daughter, that is good money. She said, Baba, my rent is 180k, my transport is 40k, feeding is 50k. I said, so what is left? She said, nothing, that is why I am calling you. I laughed and reminded her of her mother's prayer group.

You see, in this Nigeria, we have mastered the art of surviving on nothing. But the real comedy is our parents. They will gather at 5am, pray for your breakthrough, anoint your head with oil, and then ask you to buy the candle for the next session. I remember when I was in the civil service, my own father would say, Kunle, God will provide. Then he would add, but ensure you send the provision money before month end. The God we serve is generous, but our parents have added a service charge.

Now I am the parent. My son called me yesterday, said he wants to start a business. I asked him, what business? He said, online, something with phones. I said, my son, that is good, I will pray for you. He said, Baba, I need capital. I said, God will provide. He said, Baba, God has provided, it is in your account. Ah, omo. The cycle continues. The Yoruba say, the child who carries the father's bag knows the weight of his load. But the child who carries the father's phone knows the password to his bank app.