The day my wife's autocorrect called me a goat and I almost slept outside

My wife sent me a sweet message yesterday afternoon. Something about how she appreciates me and the Lord will bless my work. My chest swelled, nwanne. I was about to reply with my own romantic gist when I noticed she typed 'my dear goat' instead of 'my dear gem'. Goat. G.O.A.T, she explained when I called her. But the damage don done.

Look at it this way. We have been married for eleven years and this woman has never called me a goat to my face. But the phone, the same phone wey she use to pray for me in the morning, decided to insult me by afternoon. I asked her if she is sure it was autocorrect or her true feelings finally slipping out. She laughed so hard she nearly dropped the pot of soup she was stirring. Then she said, 'If you were a goat, you would have been sold at Ogbete market long ago.' Kai. This woman.

But here is the thing about life. Marriage is not about the big fights, the ones we plan for. It is about these small moments that catch you off guard and make you remember why you chose this person. Our people say that laughter is the shortest distance between two people. That woman, with her autocorrect and her sharp tongue, she still knows how to make me laugh even when she is technically insulting me. I have seen couples who cannot laugh together and the silence in that house is heavier than any quarrel. So I will take the goat. At least the goat is still eating from her kitchen.