Nigerian weddings don come be full-time job wey nobody apply for

My sister called me last week, voice shaking like she just saw a ghost. She said, 'Emeka, I have three weddings this month. Three. And two of them are on the same Saturday.' I told her to pick one, she said she can't, because one is her friend from NYSC and the other is her church sister. So she's planning to attend the church sister's owambe, then rush to the NYSC friend's reception before the cutting of the cake. She was calculating traffic in her head like she's solving a math problem.

Look at it this way. We have turned weddings into a side hustle wey we dey pay to do. You buy the asoebi, you pay for the tailor, you buy the gift, you fuel your car, you buy a new gele, and at the end of the day you're eating the same fried rice and chicken wey you could have bought for yourself at Mama Put. And the couple? They're so busy greeting 500 guests that they don't even know you came. I attended a wedding last month, the couple's thank you speech was longer than the marriage itself. They thanked everyone from their primary school headmistress to the okada man who carried them to the registry.

Our people say a child who carries his father's bag knows where his father is going. But these days, the child is carrying the bag, the father's shoes, and also paying for the fuel. I have seen young people borrowing money just to attend weddings. Borrowing. For somebody else's happiness. And when it's your turn, the same people will not show up. I am not saying don't celebrate love. But when did we start celebrating weddings more than we celebrate the marriages? The marriage is the thing wey dey last. The wedding na just one day. So my question is, how many weddings are you attending this month, and how many of those people will be there when you need them?