My husband dey speak to phone like e dey talk to person, I nearly call the police

My husband don start new habit wey dey worry me. E go sit for parlour, hold im phone, and dey talk to am like e dey talk to person. E go say things like "my friend, no worry, I go sort you out" and "make we see how e go be". At first I think say e dey on call. But no, the phone no ring, no earpiece, nothing.

One evening I come from kitchen, I see am dey argue with the phone. E dey shout say "I no agree with that one, the price too high!". I stand there dey watch am for five minutes. E never even see me. E just dey nod im head, dey laugh, dey frown. My heart dey beat, I say this man don finally craze. I even check the phone, e no be WhatsApp call, e no be normal call. E just dey talk to the air, or maybe to the phone itself.

When e finish, e turn and see me dey look am. E say "Amina, I dey practice how to negotiate with the tomato sellers for the market. Those women dey too strong, I need my own strategy". I just laugh and laugh. In this Nigeria, even the market wey be war front, we dey prepare for battle for our own house. Sometimes I wonder if e dey also practice how to answer me when I ask am for money. Abi na only market matter?