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I Watched My Best Friend Succeed While I Was Drowning Inside. I Could Not Celebrate Her Win.
S
Steel Gorilla from Onitsha
3 months ago
Back in 2019, I was 26 and doing my NYSC in Aba. My best friend, Ngozi, we grew up together in the same compound. She got a job at a bank in Lagos, and I was still hustling, sending out CVs that nobody read. The day she called to tell me, I forced a smile and said congratulations. But inside, something broke. See, Ngozi and I had always been equals. We failed the same exams, wore the same hand-me-downs, dreamed the same dreams. When she started succeeding, it felt like she was pulling away from me. Every time she posted her new life on Instagram, I felt smaller. I stopped calling her. I let her calls go to voicemail. I told myself she didn't need me anymore. Then one night, she called crying. Her mother was sick, and she needed someone to talk to. I was so busy feeling sorry for myself that I barely listened. I said the right things, but my heart wasn't there. She must have felt it, because after that, the calls stopped. We haven't spoken in two years. Omo, I still think about her. Not the jealousy, but the friendship. I let my own insecurity kill something that had survived everything. If I could go back, I would celebrate her like she celebrated me. Sometimes the person drowning is the one you think is swimming. And the friend you push away might be the only one who could have pulled you out.
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