The way we greet visitors at home vs the way we greet them for church

My wife's cousin came to visit us last Sunday afternoon. As she was leaving, my nine year old daughter stood up and did the full ceremony. Kneel down, both hands together, "Goodbye aunty, thank you for coming, greet your mummy for me, safe journey." The girl even remembered to ask after the woman's mother. I was proud. Then we got to church in the evening and the same child saw one of the youth leaders and just waved like she was flagging down a bus.

In my counseling experience, this is where the trouble starts. We train these children with military precision for family visitors. Kneel. Greet. Carry the bag to the car. But the same child will walk past a neighbor on our street and look the other way. The neighbor will now go and tell people that our family is proud. Meanwhile the child is not proud, the child just does not know which greeting applies to which human being.

Then we wonder why our young people cannot relate with anybody outside their bloodline. We taught them that respect is a performance for people who will report back to your parents. Not a way of seeing another human being. So when they grow up and a colleague is struggling, they don't know how to sit with the person. They only know how to greet. Chineke.

Anyway, my daughter asked me yesterday why she must kneel for visitors but not for her teacher. I didn't have a good answer. What do you tell a child that age?