I Dated a Big Man in Enugu for Two Years. His Driver Was the One Who Told Me the Truth.

I was 27 in 2021, one year post NYSC, and I was working front desk at a hotel off Bisalla Road in Enugu. The pay was 55k a month and my rent was 35k. Do the maths.

He was one of our regulars. Big man, government contracts, always in a black Prado with his driver Samuel. He never looked at me twice until one night he came down for extra towels and we talked for almost an hour. Two weeks later he sent Samuel to give me a phone. Small Nokia. I knew what it meant. I collected it anyway.

He set me up in a flat in GRA. 150k monthly, plus 80k for my mother in the village. He never came more than twice a week. He would eat, sleep, leave before 5am. No calls on weekends. No photos. I told myself it was fine because the money was clearing.

It was Samuel who broke it to me. One evening he came to drop a bag of rice and just stood there. Then he said, "Aunty, make I talk. Madam dey come Enugu next week. She dey come for the wedding of her sister." I asked which madam. He looked at me like I was slow. "The one wey dey for Abuja. The real one."

Two years. Two whole years and I was the side chick of a man whose wife had been in Abuja the entire time. He had three children. One was older than me.

I packed my things that same week. He called, shouted, threatened to stop the rent. I told him to stop it. My mother cried when the 80k stopped coming. I did not explain. How do you explain that kind of thing to your mother?

What I learned: when a man hides you, he is not protecting you. He is keeping you in a box. And the box always has an expiry date. If you are in that kind of arrangement right now, ask yourself one question. Why have you never seen his house?