Aunty Bisi's Wedding Was 3 Hours of Speeches and Zero Food

My aunty Bisi's wedding last Saturday. We got there at 12. The church part was fine, short and sweet. Then the reception started and I swear the MC had a personal vendetta against hungry people.

First the bride's father spoke. 25 minutes. Then the groom's father spoke. 30 minutes. Then some uncle from the village who nobody invited spoke for 40 minutes about how the family name must not be dragged through mud. My guy, the jollof was sitting there, covered, getting cold. I ran the calculation in my head, if each speaker took 20 minutes and there were 8 speakers, that is almost 3 hours of pure talking. The numbers do not lie.

By the time they finally opened the food, half the guests had already left. The ones who stayed were fighting over small chops like it was the last meal on earth. My cousin almost threw hands with a total stranger over a piece of chicken. And the couple? They looked like they just wanted to go home. Next time I am bringing my own food in my bag. Who does that at a wedding? Actually, don't answer that.