I paid a married man's wife school fees for 2 years and nobody knows

It started small. A colleague at the hospital, his wife was doing her Masters and money was tight. I gave him £200 once, then again, then it became monthly. Two years. Nobody knew. Not my husband, not my children, not even my prayer group.

The man never asked me directly. He would just talk about the stress, the fees, the pressure, and I would transfer. He would say thank you with his eyes, and I would feel like I was doing something that mattered. But deep down I knew why I was doing it. He was the one person at work who made me feel seen. Not as a nurse, not as a mother, not as a wife. Just as Bose.

I stopped last December. He has not spoken to me since. The wife finished her course, I saw the graduation photos on Facebook. I felt nothing. Just a quiet shame, the kind that sits in your chest when you realise you were not helping anybody, you were paying for attention. God forgive me, but I think I was lonely.