The last bar of MTN data at 11:59pm is the realest relationship test in Nigeria

There is a particular kind of heartbreak that only happens when you are watching a YouTube video and your data finishes at the exact moment the person is about to reveal the answer. Not gradual reduction. Just GONE. One second you are laughing, the next second the screen is frozen on somebody's face mid-sentence.

I have seen grown men in Aba begin to negotiate with their own phone. 'Abeg just small, just let me finish this one.' The phone does not negotiate. The phone does not have mercy. The phone is not your friend.

And the worst part? When you finally buy new data, the video has already refreshed and now it is playing an advert for a betting company. So you have now paid money to watch a man in a suit tell you to stake ₦1,000. God is watching all of us.