The Yoruba Elder Who Reads Ur Full Name and Finds Ur Whole Life Inside It

My aunt's naming ceremony for her baby turned into a full tribunal last Saturday. One elder collected the child, looked at the face for like two minutes, then announced the name like he was reading a court judgment. "This one go be doctor but he go marry late." The baby was three weeks old. Three weeks.

Then he turned to me. "Deji Adewale, come here." I am 32. I have a job, a rent, a blood pressure. But I stood up like secondary school assembly. He held my wrist, closed his eyes, and said "you are carrying something you have not told your mother." My guy, I nearly confessed to a land transaction from 2021 that nobody asked about.

The thing is, nobody in that room challenged him. Not one person. A man who cannot fix his own gate was telling a newborn its entire future and we all nodded like it was NIN verification. Anyway I have been avoiding my mother's calls since Saturday. Not because of anything. Just in case.