The day my court clerk called me 'My Lord' and I almost laughed in open court

2009. Courtroom 4, Ikeja High Court. Ceiling fan dey rotate like say e dey beg for mercy. I was still a deputy registrar then, learning the ropes.

New clerk wey just post come from training school. Bright boy, but nervous like goat before Sallah. First case on the list, land matter. Oga judge don sit. Court don rise for the morning session.

The boy stands up, clears throat, and announces: "My Lord, the matter is for hearing."

But his voice cracked. Instead of "My Lord," what came out was "My Lawd." Like he was hailing a pastor, not a judge.

Silence. The judge looked at him. The lawyers looked at him. I looked at the ceiling.

Oga judge adjust him wig, and say quiet quiet: "Counsel, proceed." Like nothing happen.

After court, the boy came to my office shaking. "Sir, I don disgrace myself."

I told him: "You did not disgrace yourself. You made a mistake. The court continued. That is the system working."

He later became one of the best clerks I ever trained. But anytime I see him now, I still hear "My Lawd" in my head.

See ehn, the law is serious. But the people inside it? We are all just trying not to crack under the pressure. The ones who survive learn to laugh at themselves small.