Aunty, I am 43 and I still hide my phone when my mother calls

My mother called me yesterday from Ibadan. I was in the middle of eating eba and ogbono with my hand, phone on the table, and when I saw 'Mama' on the screen my whole body just froze. I wiped my hand on my wrapper, cleared my throat, and answered with my church voice. 'Good evening ma.' I am 43 years old. I own a semi-detached in Peckham. I have delivered babies in NHS wards. And I still answer my mother like I am 15 and she just found my report card.

My daughter watched me do this whole performance and she said, 'Mum, why are you talking like that?' I told her to keep quiet. But she is right. When my mother calls, I become a different person. I sit up straight. I stop chewing. I say 'yes ma' every three seconds. And the worst part? She still asks me if I have eaten. I am 43. I have a mortgage. She is asking me if I have eaten.

My son says it is trauma. I say it is culture. My mother says it is respect. Whatever it is, I know one thing for sure. When my own children are 43, they will answer me on WhatsApp video with their mouth full, calling me by my first name, and I will just have to accept it. God is faithful.