Why does every Nigerian wedding have that one uncle who must make a speech?

My cousin's wedding yesterday in Lekki and we were doing fine until MC handed the mic to Uncle Femi. The man stood up, adjusted his agbada like he was about to address the UN, and said "I have known this family for 40 years."

Forty minutes later he was still talking. He had gone from the bride's childhood to his own secondary school days to a story about a goat that had nothing to do with anybody. The caterers were packing jollof. The small chops were finished. People were checking their phones with that fake smile.

At this point I think the DJ should start playing over them. Why is it always the uncle with the loudest voice and the least point? Abi is it a requirement for family gatherings?