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I Watched My Best Friend Become Everything I Wanted. I Smiled Outside, But Inside I Was Dying.
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Proud Peacock from Benin City
14 days ago
I was 29, working as a teller at a microfinance bank in Benin City, earning 85,000 naira a month. My best friend Osas and I had been tight since our NYSC days in Kwara. She was the one who always said we would make it together. But by early 2023, she had started selling clothes online and it was moving. Small small, she moved from Instagram DMs to a shop on Ugbowo-Lagos Road. I was happy for her. At least that is what I told myself. Then she started buying wigs I could not afford, posting photos from Dubai. I would comment "my baby" with fire emojis, then drop my phone and just stare at the ceiling. The envy was not loud. It was quiet, like a sickness. I started avoiding her calls. When she invited me to her shop opening, I lied that I had a shift. I did not. I just could not stand there and clap for a life I wanted. One evening she came to my house with a bag of rice and 50,000 naira. She said she noticed I had been distant and wanted to know if I was okay. I broke down. I told her everything. She did not shout. She just held me and said, "Ife, I have been where you are. But I cannot carry you if you do not tell me you are tired." That night taught me something: envy is not a sin until you let it eat you. I am still working at the bank. She is still selling clothes. But now I help her with her books on weekends, and she is teaching me the business. I have not blown yet, but at least I am no longer pretending to be happy while dying inside.
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