The gavel that came to court with its own lawyer

My first year as a magistrate clerk in Ogba, a defendant walked in with his own gavel. I swear. Small wooden gavel, like the ones they sell at Law School bookshops. He placed it on the table in front of the magistrate and said, "My lord, I am ready to rule."

The magistrate, Justice Ogunbanjo, removed his glasses very slowly. You could hear the ceiling fan. He asked the man, "Are you a judge?" The man said, "No sir, but I have been watching Judge Judy."

Ah! The court erupted. Even the police orderly laughed. Justice Ogunbanjo banged his real gavel and told the man to keep his own gavel inside his bag. The case was a simple landlord and tenant matter. The man was the tenant. He had refused to pay rent for eight months and was now trying to preside over his own eviction.

I learned something that day. People who do not understand the law will always try to perform it. The man thought the gavel was the power. He did not know that the power is in the procedure. The gavel is just wood.

We adjourned the case. The man paid his rent before the next date. He left the gavel on the table. Justice Ogunbanjo kept it in his drawer. I saw it there years later. He never returned it.