My daughter asked me why I don't do 'detty December' and I had to sit down

She came to my room with her phone showing me some girl's Instagram, all of them in Dubai with the caption detty December loading. She asked me, mummy why don't you ever do these things. I looked at her and laughed. Detty December for who? For a woman who has two teenagers and a mortgage that does not care about December.

My dear, the kind of December I do is called annual leave. I go to Ibadan, I sit in my mother's parlour, I eat amala and I sleep by 9pm. That is my own detty. The only thing that is loading for me is my blood pressure when I see the price of flights to Nigeria in December. Have you seen it? Almost two thousand pounds. For what? To go and sweat in Lagos traffic and pretend I am enjoying myself.

But see ehn, I understand the young ones. They want to post and be seen. When I was coming to London in 2008, we did not have all this. We just worked and sent money home. Now everybody wants to live a soft life on camera. I told my daughter, if you want detty December, go and work for it. But don't come and ask me to sponsor your Instagram. My own December is quiet and my account balance is quiet too. Which one is better, abeg?